If someone whom you’ve trusted the most betrayed you, would you then close your heart and become everyone’s stranger?
If someone whom you’ve always reached out to turned their backs on you, would you then tie your hands behind your back?
If someone whom you’ve climbed up to looked down upon you, would you fall into the pit of self-loathe and low self-esteem?
If someone whose hands you held on to for support put you down, would you then stand low and not arise?
If someone whom you’ve tirelessly threaded friendship with cut the string loose, would you then weave your being into solitude?
If someone whom you’ve walked the path of life with overtook you and never looked back, would you then never stop to see those behind you?
***
Some of the devil’s whispers that have been resonating inside my head from time to time. I understand that we should not expect our deeds to be reciprocated, but how can we stay strong and persevere when we are unappreciated for what we do?
Thursday, 8 September 2011
Wednesday, 7 September 2011
++ Benevolent Sexism ++
I am dumbfounded.
I came across an article that touched on the topic of ‘benevolent sexism’. Alright, folks. Before you launch an accusation at me saying that I am a hard core feminist, let me assure you that I do not agree with the views that are being presented by the authors.
It is conveyed that ‘benevolent sexism’ takes form in a number of chivalrous acts that may be perceived as favourable. The authors argue that such attitudes reflect our sexism tendency in which we portray women as weaker beings who need to be protected. Examples include opening doors for women, calling women ‘girls’ while you do not refer men as ‘boys’, helping women carry heavy packages, and complimenting them on their looks. The impacts of ‘benevolent sexism’ can be more damaging than imaginable. The authors argue that ‘benevolent sexism’ may lead women to experience self doubt, low self-esteem and a sense of preoccupation. These ultimately will affect the quality of tasks that they perform. Unlike sexism that is hostile in nature, most people are unaware of the consequences that may arise from the practice of ‘benevolent sexism’. In fact, many cultures endorse such practice, while not realising that the women are idealized as weak creatures and are best confined to traditional gender roles.
I don’t know about you, but I find the views hilariously bad and confusing. I used to think that I am a feminist who strongly believes in equal opportunity (please not that I say ‘opportunity’ and not ‘treatment’). Heck, if this is the type of arguments that the feminists put forward nowadays, I will happily detach myself from the feminist ideology and will join the rank of the ‘submissive’ and ‘subjugated’ women whom they condemn.
I think this is a case of feminism gone extreme (and rotten). If you know me well, you will gather how much I object to women’s being stereotyped and assigned to traditional gender roles. I do not believe that women are second-class citizens who are lower than men. I do not believe that women lack intelligence or skills required to excel in a workforce. I believe there should be a system that rewards and acknowledges men and women based on their experience, skills and qualifications, and not based on their gender. However, I do not believe men and women are the same. They’re not. They have different biological programming, and are equipped with different instincts. That’s what I believe anyway.
Generally speaking, men are physically more capable than women, and they have the instinct to be the protector and maintainer in the relationship while women have the tendency to seek affection. It can work the other way if both parties prefer, of course! So please enlighten me, what is so sexist about expressing these instincts? Where do you draw the line between what is sexist and what is not?
On that note, I don’t think that chivalry is an obligation for the male species, in the same way that women should not be obligated to serve the men. It is more in line of an act of kindness or a way to express their base instinct (to help others). I wonder if I offer an elderly woman to carry her heavy packages, I will be branded as an ‘age-ist’ because my action is influenced by my attitude towards someone’s age? Will I be accused of disability-ism if I offer a disabled man a seat in the bus?
Seriously, these people who preach about ‘benevolent sexism’ should consider the gravity of the consequences that may arise if men and women are to receive equal treatment (by that I don’t mean opportunity!). Women would not be granted maternity leave for the sake of equality. After all, where is paternity leave? Yes, I know that at the time women will have to nurture the newborn babies, but that is irrelevant to the tasks being performed at the workplace. Women would have to cope with derogatory, sexually explicit remarks that are sometimes used between male co-workers (which I gather is a sign of closeness or ‘brotherhood’). And the list can go on.
In conclusion, I definitely will not cry sexism if a charming young lad offers to carry my stuff for me (I will be quite flattered actually!). And I definitely will not think that I am either being submissive (to man) or betraying the female community, if bake my man some delicious (and healthy) chocolate cakes!
Extremist-feminist, ye be gone!
I came across an article that touched on the topic of ‘benevolent sexism’. Alright, folks. Before you launch an accusation at me saying that I am a hard core feminist, let me assure you that I do not agree with the views that are being presented by the authors.
It is conveyed that ‘benevolent sexism’ takes form in a number of chivalrous acts that may be perceived as favourable. The authors argue that such attitudes reflect our sexism tendency in which we portray women as weaker beings who need to be protected. Examples include opening doors for women, calling women ‘girls’ while you do not refer men as ‘boys’, helping women carry heavy packages, and complimenting them on their looks. The impacts of ‘benevolent sexism’ can be more damaging than imaginable. The authors argue that ‘benevolent sexism’ may lead women to experience self doubt, low self-esteem and a sense of preoccupation. These ultimately will affect the quality of tasks that they perform. Unlike sexism that is hostile in nature, most people are unaware of the consequences that may arise from the practice of ‘benevolent sexism’. In fact, many cultures endorse such practice, while not realising that the women are idealized as weak creatures and are best confined to traditional gender roles.
I don’t know about you, but I find the views hilariously bad and confusing. I used to think that I am a feminist who strongly believes in equal opportunity (please not that I say ‘opportunity’ and not ‘treatment’). Heck, if this is the type of arguments that the feminists put forward nowadays, I will happily detach myself from the feminist ideology and will join the rank of the ‘submissive’ and ‘subjugated’ women whom they condemn.
I think this is a case of feminism gone extreme (and rotten). If you know me well, you will gather how much I object to women’s being stereotyped and assigned to traditional gender roles. I do not believe that women are second-class citizens who are lower than men. I do not believe that women lack intelligence or skills required to excel in a workforce. I believe there should be a system that rewards and acknowledges men and women based on their experience, skills and qualifications, and not based on their gender. However, I do not believe men and women are the same. They’re not. They have different biological programming, and are equipped with different instincts. That’s what I believe anyway.
Generally speaking, men are physically more capable than women, and they have the instinct to be the protector and maintainer in the relationship while women have the tendency to seek affection. It can work the other way if both parties prefer, of course! So please enlighten me, what is so sexist about expressing these instincts? Where do you draw the line between what is sexist and what is not?
On that note, I don’t think that chivalry is an obligation for the male species, in the same way that women should not be obligated to serve the men. It is more in line of an act of kindness or a way to express their base instinct (to help others). I wonder if I offer an elderly woman to carry her heavy packages, I will be branded as an ‘age-ist’ because my action is influenced by my attitude towards someone’s age? Will I be accused of disability-ism if I offer a disabled man a seat in the bus?
Seriously, these people who preach about ‘benevolent sexism’ should consider the gravity of the consequences that may arise if men and women are to receive equal treatment (by that I don’t mean opportunity!). Women would not be granted maternity leave for the sake of equality. After all, where is paternity leave? Yes, I know that at the time women will have to nurture the newborn babies, but that is irrelevant to the tasks being performed at the workplace. Women would have to cope with derogatory, sexually explicit remarks that are sometimes used between male co-workers (which I gather is a sign of closeness or ‘brotherhood’). And the list can go on.
In conclusion, I definitely will not cry sexism if a charming young lad offers to carry my stuff for me (I will be quite flattered actually!). And I definitely will not think that I am either being submissive (to man) or betraying the female community, if bake my man some delicious (and healthy) chocolate cakes!
Extremist-feminist, ye be gone!
Monday, 5 September 2011
++ Caffeine ++
It’s official. Once again I fell into the pit of caffeine addiction. So much for my commitment to adopt a healthy and alkaline-based diet! Oh well, at least a glass of homemade double-shot latte with oat milk was able to keep me awake the whole day after 1.5 hour sleep! It’s bad, I know. But for the time being, I guess I’ll keep with the caffeine ‘til I am done with my university! So to all of you who have been guilt-tripping me for my excessive caffeine consumption, shoooosssh!
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