++ Marriage ++

Marriage.

For many people, the word seems to be able to conjure magic, where all the life problems will disappear once someone enters life of marriage.

“And they live happily ever after.”

The fairy-tale lovers are intoxicated with the idea of marriage, which is almost always associated with everlasting love. After all, everyone needs love to live a happy life. Just like Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty, marriage will provide one with happiness. Right?

“Marriage is half of someone’s faith.”

The more religious ones believe in the idea that marriage is an act of worship, where they will be more righteous in the eyes of God. After all, that’s what the forefathers tell them, who heard it from their forefathers.

Right.

I am sure some of you are often being asked questions such as, “So, when are you getting hitched?”, “Why are you still single?”, or “Why don’t you hurry up and get married already?!”.

Seesh people, just like all things in the world, marriage has its positives and negatives. We are delusional if we think that marriage is THE key to happiness. Sure, marriage or relationship for that matter, enables someone to experience affection and intimacy, (hopefully) with their loved ones. Sure, marriage may give you that special friend whom you can turn to and eases your burden when you’re down. I am sure the list can go on (I won’t have a clue, I have never been married). However, it too has negatives. There are some things that need to be compromised when it comes to two people living together (three or four if polygamy is your thing -_-). There will be occasional (or usual) fights and arguments throughout the course of marriage. It takes efforts, respect and understanding to make a marriage work.

I am not against marriage at all. Heck, if anyone picks me up from the bargain shelf, I’ll probably start fussing about marriage itself! But I just don’t understand why people think that marriage guarantees happiness, or that singlehood is synonymous with misery and loneliness. Some people can actually be unhappy in a marriage if it’s not a health and loving one. And some people can be happy waving the singlehood flag if they are comfortable with themselves, and living their lives to the fullest.

I wonder, when people say they want to get married, do they understand why they want to? Is it because, well, everyone else is married and hance they need to be married? Has it become a social standard that everyone needs to adhere to?

I don’t know, some people are just investing way too much time to get that “special someone” to marry, in the expense of other things. Well, putting efforts is not bad, really. After all, if we invest a lot of time, effort and resources to undergo education, and secure a profession, why not devote a bit of time to seek our life partner? But yeah, I cannot comprehend when someone’s mind is occupied with the thought of being married. I am sure there are better things to worry about.

A dear friend of mine, once said it profoundly,

“When the time comes when you have to depart this world, and pass way, it will suck if you come into realisation that you spend your times thinking about hooking up, when you can instead, strive to become a better person.”

Indeed, it’s true. I personally think marriage is a way for an individual to find a partner in life. A tag-team, to help one discover the meanings of life. To be able to have someone who uplifts one’s spirituality, and makes one a better person.

And not just because, well, everyone needs to get married!